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Growing up I didn’t have much, as a child I lived in multiple foster homes due to my mother being addicted to drugs and my father hardly around, but I believe that mostly had something to do with my mother, but he wasn’t a saint either because he had his vice to. My childhood is one big blur where I really don’t care to remember. Watching one bad episode after another is not something you cherish in your memory bank, what I will say though is it shaped me into the women I am today. I would like to believe my mother did the best she could with what she had but I guess it wasn’t enough to keep me out the system. I spent majority of my life trying not to become like her but sadly because every decision I made to not do what she did still led me into some of the same situations she allowed herself to get into, it’s funny how life works huh. Going through life I was always looking for self-validation, someone to tell me who I was, someone to tell me I’m worthy, someone to tell me I love you, someone to tell me I was enough but all that ever got me was bad relationships and toxic friendships.
Coming from brokenness causes one to make decisions based on how they were or were not treated, from having or not having, do you see where I’m going with this? Until you heal and fix what is broken you will always speak from a place of hurt, a place of shame, a place of guilt, a place of pity and the only time you will know that you're doing that is when your faced to look in the mirror or when someone calls you out on it. I can speak on this so heavy because I to have been challenged in my thinking, my decisions and my behavior. It wasn’t until I started doing the work that I was able to show up a healthier version of who I used to be.
Nonetheless if I never went through all that I did I wouldn’t be able to tell you little one that you are loved, you are worthy, you are enough, and I do see you. looking back on my life I can see that God had his hand on me the whole time, but I couldn’t see past the pain and neglect that I felt growing up. No one can ever take the pain from you or the trauma that happened to you but what I can do is help you move past it through my story so that you can see if God did it for me, He can do it for you.
When I was a little girl, I bounced around in the foster system, so I didn't have a chance to make friends let alone keep them. Growing up in the system causes you to lose faith and trust in people, it leaves you feeling like is all you have is yourself to depend on. My hope as a child was gone, the people that was supposed to care for me and loved me wasn't even there for me so why would people who don't even know me be any different. I know what it feels like to be broken and abandoned, the thought of someone else having to go through this bothers me all the team and my heart just hurts for them. God placed it in my heart to be to you ladies what I wasn't or anyone else was to me. Heal her is created to uplift, motivate and spread God's love so that you young ladies can see just how important you are without anyone telling you any different. Don’t allow the situation that you're in to dim down your light because you still have a lot to offer this world. Someone is counting on your healing just like you ladies are counting on mines. I want to be that hope for you that I never had for myself. I don’t believe you are here by coincidence and if you are reading this right now then that means God is speaking to you and letting you know He’s not done with you yet.